Adventures in Second Life: by a technologically-incompetent student journo

To start with, I wasn't impressed with the lack of decent surnames on offer - how the hell am I supposed to live out a 'fantasy' life with a name like Poliatevsta? I settled begrudgingly for 'Marigold Mubble' and sat watching the odd picture of a sunset that shows as the game loads with an impending sense of near-doom. It was fear of the unknown. What secrets would be lurking in this digital landscape? What mysteries lay around the pixelated corner? Would I survive or perish in this strange new world?

Firstly it took me over half an hour to even dress myself properly. A very friendly and patient 'mentor' named Davede helped me repeatedly as I struggeld first of all to pick up a dress, then put it on, then try to remove the clothes I still had on undeath before accidentally taking far too much off and ending up topless. A most classy entrance for Marigold.

"Lol. This is crazy. I don't think my computer's good enough for this!" said Luna, another fellow newbie, as she turned her back and disappeared off to the real world.

"It must get annoying having to teach us imbeciles how to do these basic tasks all day" I said to Davede.

"No not at all," was his reply, his little animated face conveying not a spot of emotion.

After spending time attempting to change my hair without much luck, my real non-pixelated dinner was ready on the table, it was time for I'm a Celebrity..! and I had wasted a good hour or so of my life. I logged off, feeling slightly guilty about not saying farewell to Davede after all his help, then figured he was probably used to it.

And so Second Life has remained a mere unused, unloved icon on my desktop ever since. I don't think I really have the time or the energy to dedicate to immersing myself in it. But if another strange divorce case comes up, at least I know how to put on an outfit to interview the subject in....