Today I came across this rather amusing article in The Daily Mail from back in September (thanks to the genius spEak You're bRANES )
What planet does The Daily Mail live on? It's certainly a strange one, like the land in Northern Lights: "one similar to ours, but different in many many ways."
It appears to be a near-parallel universe rewound back to 1955 and where the most powerful person is a faceless evil PeeCee brigade and not, in fact, a right-wing Texan christian. And the good ol' ordinary folk have to live in cupboards wearing rags eating scraps foraged from bins cos we've been taxed out of existence by these evil PeeCeers to pay for foreigners to live in crystal palaces waited on by a thousand serving maids. The foreigners also control the ordinary folks' lives telling them what they can and can't do, until the ordinary folks can't do ANYTHING without offending the foreigners and just have to sit inside their cupboards all day long. Eating scraps.
But no one would want to leave the cupboards even if they could because the streets outside are running wild with hoodies trying to stab them. Or is it the foreigners who want to stab them? I'm confused.....
I have come to the conclusion the staff and their readers are aliens from another planet, and this 'newspaper' has made its way into our universe by accident. Because the world it reports definitely doesn't resemble the one I live in.
1 comment:
Classic and highly agreeable in sentiment!!
Although given that my extremely liberal, intelligent, vehemently anti-Tescos, anti-Bush, anti-Blair, son-of-a-baker-father-of-a-raver dad still has the Mail delivered daily through force of suburban habit I cant subscribe to the Alien analogy whole. Sorry.
Americans on the other hand, well, very recent experiences tell me they're from a different dimension let alone planet ... and I seriously don't give 'a rat's ass' what paper they are fuckin reading.
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